im about as happy as oj after his trial
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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