i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
