So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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