Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
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I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
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When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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