Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
PANTIES FOUND
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
