dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
