So drunk, too bad you don't want this
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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