you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
