Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It was a blind-side dick pic.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize