After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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