She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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