Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
