Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
