Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
