I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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