I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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