Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize