I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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