let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.