I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
