So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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