remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
