Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
