Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
