hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
