i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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