Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
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