Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
