She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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