I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
