gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
