I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
