Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
