How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
