She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
