Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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