Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it was like eating out sand paper
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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