When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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