the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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