A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
