she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
