I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
