So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
