? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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