if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
