i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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