So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My bed smells like the plague
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
