I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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