Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
