so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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