Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
