Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
