i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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