walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
