They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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