After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
