"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
