At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I could make wine with my vomit
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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