Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
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Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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