Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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