i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
