Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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