You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
