census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
