Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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