Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
