You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize