you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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