I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
