when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize