like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
