didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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