If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
